YOU KNOW YOU’RE TRAILER TRASH WHEN…

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.

Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.”

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, “Hey, y’all watch this”.

You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.

Ya can’t get married to yer sweetheart ’cause there’s a law against it.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.